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A World of Yoga
More Advanced Relationships
Love grows. Love is not static.
When there is love in a relationship it is dynamic; the relationship is a living reality. Love moves your relationship forward into ever-new and more subtle dimensions.
You find it thrilling to be a lover of higher consciousness. In a sense, one of the fulfillments of life is to be able to love and love and love. The ongoing love transforms you.
Dynamic love enables you to see and experience life more fully and delightedly. Love becomes the cornerstone of your life. Faith has led you to this love and your experience of superconscious relationships. What more can be said?
All Things Are Possible
Volumes can’t adequately describe the relationships which now occur. Hopefully, the states mentioned in this chapter will soon be within your reach as you apply the principles of this website and enjoy the guidance of your special teacher. The most essential factor, henceforth, is your growing love. Love brings greater understanding and intimacy between the seeker of higher consciousness and higher consciousness itself. As love grows, so does the ability to give and share love at more superb levels.
In love, it is said, all things are possible. In love there are moods of relationship that go far beyond human ability to understand. We are incapable of thinking in such high terms unless we have a background in the awe, servant, and friendship relationships. Imagine being able to live your daily life, participating fully in the world, while delightedly developing from one level of relationship into another.
Some Prefer Other States
Please keep in mind that for perhaps thirty or forty percent of those who are seeking higher consciousness these moods are not suitable. Those who have a dominantly intellectual or willful (volitional) nature will generally prefer other states developed in other sections of this website. In particular, intellectual and volitional people will likely prefer to develop the sublime insight of witness consciousness rather than seek higher consciousness through moods and relationships. Then intellectual and volitional people usually go on to experience the higher planes of awareness which grow from witness consciousness and the expanded self.
Generally, though, people of devotional, volitional, and intellectual natures will experience the witness consciousness and the expanded self in ways that are quite similar.
Are you dominantly devotional? Do you delight in giving and receiving love? Are relationships particularly important and gratifying to you? Let’s explore the higher moods.
As a Son or Daughter
The friend to friend relationship matures and, because love is so dynamic, another level of intimacy is begun. The awe, servant, and friend relationships mature into a mood of love similar to that of a child with Mother or Father. The interest of the seeker becomes so aligned — so attuned — with the interests of higher consciousness that there is a strong sense of becoming "part of the family." The concerns of higher consciousness have become yours; and you know your concerns have become the concerns of the higher consciousness.
In this intimacy your sense of who you are changes again. Your friendship has changed your nature. When you began the friend relationship you felt your nature was much different from that of the higher consciousness. However, as your friendship grew, you discovered yourself to be essentially of the same spirit as your friend. In this awareness you begin to feel more continually like a loving son or daughter of a loving, wise, and perfect father or mother.
Some individuals prefer to think of the higher consciousness as a father — loving, strong, provident and protective. Much as a father in regular life gives his child a sense of self-esteem, helpful guidance and an embracing security through many of life’s adventures, fatherly attributes are readily found in the nature of higher consciousness, too. Many devotional people find they can easily establish a child to father relationship and enter an intimate mood of love.
A Loving Child
However, because of the often manifest capacity of a mother to love her child, whether good or bad, with unconditional love and acceptance, many seekers prefer to think of the higher consciousness in the aspect of mother. That is, they feel the higher consciousness has the qualities of total acceptance, non-judgmental love, and eternally patient correction. While Daddy is often away at work, Mother is generally nearby night and day. While Father’s corrections seem more stern or perhaps even threatening, Mother’s corrections appear more calm and constant.
As mentioned, these stereotypes may not be true at all. However, many
seekers find themselves predisposed at this intense high level of awareness to
conceive of the higher consciousness as acting much as a mother would act —
with unconditional love and patient correction. Through greater intimacy you
become, as it were, a member of the family of higher consciousness, a son or a
daughter who is at home with higher consciousness — perfectly comfortable.
You become free to receive the higher faculties and greater power coming from
your new mood of love — whether you prefer to focus on the father or mother
Raises You Up
In the child to mother or father relationship you know yourself to be young, not as powerful or as knowledgeable as the higher consciousness itself but at the same time beloved of it and intimately sharing in its nature and purposes. Certainly it’s fine for a seeker to imagine — or strive to develop — this mood without actually being in the achieved state. The ideals of this relationship are lofty and comforting. The mood itself, however, becomes established usually only after considerable purification through the awe, servant, and friend relationships.
Most scriptures strongly advocate that you accept you are a son or daughter, a child of the Lord. It’s fine, certainly, to start your mood of love with this child relationship as long as you grow in the other attributes which will help you be a loyal and constantly loving child.
It’s wonderful to think — in a religious sense — that the Lord is like a father or mother who is deeply concerned about the welfare and happiness of his or her child, and who will accept and love that child as part of its own being forever.
Indeed, the higher consciousness will guide and raise you up into the fullness of life. You’ll find it most precious to have an ongoing mood, a momentum in your heart, which continually affirms such an intimate relationship with the higher consciousness.
As If Married
Love continues, dynamically. Greater intimacy pushes you forward. You, the seeker, mature. You feel less a child and more an adult. Much like a nun who thinks of Christ as her husband, you begin to view the higher consciousness with the intensity and dedication of one wedded. The Lord of your heart is recognized as the love of your life, and the great satisfaction of belonging to the lover abides in your mind. You feel deeply loved and understood. You know you are eternally appreciated. You live for your beloved. Of course, you are still humble, and you wish to serve and delight your special companion — but the sharing is more completely open and natural. Few human beings ever know such love and the glorious state of being this mood brings.
In this "married" stage, rapturous joy easily moves throughout your being. In your ecstasy, sexual desire is greatly calmed down and your whole body feels a bliss, as if being satisfied at every level — physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually too. Those who are single generally feel much relieved from the pressures of sexual desire. Those who are married often find, when they are in this mood, a greater love and ability to satisfy, and be satisfied with, their dear mate.
A Blessed Tenderness
Sometimes this mood of being a mature partner of higher consciousness can create problems in your home. If your husband or wife has a jealous streak, he or she may resent your joy of life and blissful attunement. He or she may fear losing out. Many problems will develop if communication is not particularly clear. Your love for others must be given great attention. Your beloved higher consciousness will, of course, help you to love people more completely than ever — especially your family members.
However, believe it or not, most of those who experience this exalted state of being — becoming a mate to higher consciousness — are single and celibate. Often nuns, priests, and mystics who have lived years of sacrifice find this extremely blessed and tender adult relationship with the higher consciousness. While those who are married can help one another bring about this invigorating dimension in their lives, they tend to be too busy and are also somewhat fearful of it. Yet by sensing the higher consciousness expressing through one another, an even deeper love is known. The love between man and woman becomes magnified in the Lord.
Just as man and woman together bring forth children, so too the seeker who lives in this exalted state — as if a husband or wife of the ishta (the form of higher consciousness) — finds spiritual children are engendered. Usually at the level of this relationship you become capable of teaching others about higher consciousness. Or, you become capable of inspiring others so much that they will sense the reality of higher consciousness and pursue greater awareness of it. Also, you may find that your talents can be turned to writing, art, or other projects which will uplift and benefit others.
The ability to do something concrete, to serve the welfare of other people or humanity at large, becomes energetically inseminated, takes birth, and grows at this stage. Development of your work or calling may take some time. It may also be more a general service of good will to others in the course of your daily life rather than a specific project or mission. However, at this stage of intimacy and love with the higher consciousness, you become a fit person to truly and significantly play a part in the loving outreach of higher consciousness toward all people.
More intense than the marriage relationship is that of the fiancé. What could be more dynamic? Please keep in mind human terms and concepts are used here, however inadequately, in order to try to describe an extremely subtle and powerful relationship between the individual and the higher consciousness — or, to say it in religious terms, the relationship between the individual and the Lord.
Have you noticed, either in your marriage or in the marriages of friends, that marriage partners tend to take one another for granted? They don’t continually think of the well being of one another. Their attentiveness calms down. Now and then they have to consciously put time aside to pay full attention to one another and reestablish their expressions of love and tenderness. Sometimes they even have to fight in order to get realigned and working together again.
Intensity of your mood, while you maintain precise mental balance, is of primary importance in the next mood. Only as your love becomes more powerful can you go beyond the husband to wife relationship with higher consciousness. This lofty mood transcends the as if married relationship. It’s called the fiancé to fiancée mood. This state is attained by very, very few seekers. Perhaps only a few dozen devotees in the world today are capable of living at this level. The emotional and mental intensity required is so great that unless you have developed your body and all your faculties tremendously, your health will break down. You will not be able to bear such love for a day, let alone live in it for months or years. Still, the fiancé to fiancée relationship will inevitably happen if you increase your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health through exercise, honesty, and devotion.
The fiancé to fiancée mood takes its name from the behavior of young lovers and their extraordinary passion. Because love for the higher consciousness becomes flat out purified, unselfish passion, this sovereign mood is very much like that of fiancés. (In fact, this terminology was used in spiritual circles before society changed so much.)
What's the Fiancé to Fiancée Relationship Like?
When people are deeply in love and preparing for marriage, the young man and woman can think of little else but their beloved. They have to make an effort to turn their mind to other activities or other thoughts. Even then, their minds continually drift into daydreams of one another, fantasies about their future, and phone calls. They love one another so much they are capable of sitting up all night talking and yet rushing off to work early in the morning, fresh and eager for the day to pass so they can be together again that night — and similarly the next night and the next.
Weekends are too short. These lovers are so intense about one another, so totally concentrated, that it seems to them other people only half exist. Normal humdrum words take on melody when coming from the throat of a fiancé. Little wishes, quite trivial perhaps, become extremely important in this blazing love. The world is seen fresh and new. Life has new prospects. The couple know their love is so deep they can withstand any test, any problem, and any erosions of time. If these dear lovers could be hooked up to appropriate wires, perhaps the force of their love would light a city for years.
This fiancé to fiancée relationship, observable in many high schools and colleges, among other places, is beautiful to see when the couple genuinely love one another in a healthful, wholesome way. They demonstrate caring and concern every day. Exposed and vulnerable to harm from scoffers and their own insensitivities, they fortify their trust in one another. Each is willing to take the risk and love completely, holding nothing back, whatever the consequences.
More Alive Than Imaginable
Many of these same qualities are found in the incandescent mood of love for the higher consciousness called fiancé to fiancée.
Changed through faith and the progressive moods of awe, servant, friend, child, and mate, you become more alive than you could have previously imagined. Your flow of love is so powerful you become incapable of thinking other than of the higher consciousness. You relate everything else in the world to your relationship with your beloved, which easily has priority.
You love, totally, and your love softens and sweetens the apparent harshness and menace of the outer world. Reciprocally, the world loves a lover and enjoys your zest. Greater opportunities and more good will come to such a lover.
You Live For Your Beloved
In this ultrahigh mood of love, with your heart and mind so easily wavering from mundane concerns, you could become a menace when driving a car or doing an honest day’s work. But as you experience this mood, you will find an obvious solution for your tendency to be absent-minded about the world. Simply drive, work, and attend to the details of your day with the attitude that you are doing them for your beloved. Feel it is for your beloved that you are doing the various errands of daily life. In this manner you can think constantly of your beloved even while doing something very complex.
Now your attitude and the greatness of your love create a new motive and a new power within you. You perform inspired service in a degree which far transcends the servant level, for example. Why? You live for your beloved. You have become an instrument, a constantly devoted companion of higher consciousness. Your life has become merged in higher consciousness.
However, so few people mature in this love that the fiancé to fiancée relationship is a rarity in the world. The few who live in this superhuman delight are mainly monks and nuns, priests, spiritual teachers. It’s a shame many people turn from this intense mood of love because they are either preoccupied or afraid. Sadly, they dare not trust in a consciousness which would most capably help them but which, in its scope, frightens them.
Exalted and Thrilling
Then, too, the fiancé to fiancée mood of love is often too intense to be maintained by most seekers, even if the earlier moods were established fairly easily. If your body shakes, or your nerves feel like they are burning, or you can’t digest food, return to less intense moods and get healthier first.
Those who experience the exalted and thrilling fiancé mood encourage all
seekers that to live in such a state is worth every patient preparation, even
if you have to labor for decades — or lifetimes. These blessed ones live in
an ecstatic joy, continually amazed that a human being can realize such love