While this road to higher consciousness is the road of highest joy, and while a sense of well being and greater wisdom develops quite regularly, you should be warned that there will likely be times of despair. When you travel this road, loved ones and business acquaintances may wonder why. The goal seems so shining and clear to you, yet others who know you cannot sense or perceive your goal at all. They may feel, and express themselves quite emotionally, that you’re wasting your time or your resources. They may say you’re wasting your time becoming a nothing when you could become someone great. “Superstition, abstraction, unreality,” they say.
Friends may accuse you of striving to escape from the facts of life, or from the fun of life if your choices for growth are in conflict with their ways of celebrating life. If they can’t see what you’re doing and in no way comprehend what you’re striving to do, and if they think the deprecatory words they’re saying are for your good, you will have to incorporate your despair and their lack of understanding into your quest. Let the obstructions of their unkindness become motivating forces which compel you to succeed. Your compassion and love, along with the strength that you must develop, will be extremely valuable as you enter higher consciousness. If you will be kind, or strong, or strive as best you can to love and serve those who oppose you, you will become successful. Those who are against you today may one day consider you great. They may deem it an honor to have known you way back when you glimpsed the reality of a higher consciousness.
Feelings of Separation
In periods of despair you will primarily sense the painful separation from others, especially those you care about most. You will also feel at times, in your despair, separate from humanity. You will feel the way humanity is going creates much concern in your heart but that you, in seeking higher consciousness, are going in a different direction.
Your most painful despair comes when you feel divided within yourself. You feel that a higher purpose within you is being blocked or cut off due to an inadequate, stubborn, and insensitive nature. You may, in despair, bemoan your inadequacies and lament the seeming wall or chasm between you and where you sense you ought to be.
“Multitudes have gone before you. They suffered these moments of despair too. They dried their eyes, got up and went on, as you will. They became more determined in their despair and focused on the great importance of their destination. In their despair their hearts became more universal and they became keenly sensitive to the hearts and minds of other people. Your periods of despair, if not selfishly or slavishly indulged in, can become moments of expanded compassion and of deep concern for the well being of all people. You will find each tear helps to wash away the sense of separateness. Each tear affirms life and your caring heart. Each tear, in this instance, makes your mind clearer and nobler.
Becoming Clearer
The indication that your despair is a genuine aspect of your quest for higher consciousness and not an emotional illness will be: does your despair make your life fresher? As a consequence of your compassionate despair you will find yourself becoming clearer and more loving in daily life. You will begin to develop, even while suffering times of despair at night or during other private times, a more cheerful and accepting attitude for the world and for others. Also, your despair will give you greater insight into your own mind and heart. You will find greater patience with yourself. The quality of your despair, which seems so deep and gloomy, will nevertheless lighten your life noticeably. You will find it a joy to be free of tears stored so long in your heart. It becomes a sweet joy to have a despair borne of a concern for higher values and greater possibilities for everyone.
If your despair does not develop compassionate qualities, then it is destructive and you would be very wise to discuss it with a counselor who can help you work through it, and get back on the road to higher consciousness.
Your periods of despair on your path to higher consciousness affirm life. They also affirm your value and your uniqueness as a precious human being. So, even despair has grand dimensions. The goal, however, is to pass through your periods of despair and go forward as quickly as possible. The journey is much too beautiful to be blotted out by watery eyes and otherwise occupied hearts.
